Have you ever been in that in-between time when the emotions of fear and uncertainty surrounding your future overwhelm you? Maybe you are in-between relationships, jobs, education, careers, or spiritual paths. It could be that the space is a natural evolution, or it could be you decided that you needed something different.
Some are extreme planners’–setting goals and heading in a planned direction–but life happens anyway. Others are more likely to go with the flow or choose change quickly following a gut feeling or indisputable knowing, with no clarity of what’s to come. This uncertainty can cause stress and anxiety for almost all of us!
I am one of those that seems to make a lot of changes at one-time, usually going with a flow based on knowing that things always work out for me. That’s the way it starts, anyway. But as to not rush into specific replacement decisions based on previous experience, uncertainty and oblivion linger a bit too long, and frustration sets in. 2019 brought about lots of change for me including: divorce, loss of a 20 year client, and a semi-empty new nest. Plagued with where to live, decisions about houses’ to sell, a college decision for Trevor, potential business moves, partnerless, and health insurance issues–I was feeling lost.
My recent college graduate, brilliant middle-child, and new roommate, Rachel, became aware of my unheeding persona. It could have been she noticed events like me crawling back in bed after coming in from an early morning run or staying in yoga clothes for a bit longer than needed. I could be found sitting in my office “researching” or my new love of sitting under my favorite tree in the backyard. There were a few house projects started, but in no hurry to finish.
I could be found in my personal infrared sauna in the basement more often than usual, and the refrigerator was unusually bare. Finally, Rachel came to me and said, “Mom! You are just in the hallway–the in-between time. It won’t last, so take advantage of it.”
She was right. “In the hallway” actually sounds quite fun. It’s a place of options. You can enter any room from the hallway, or you can hang out there for a bit. In high school, the hallway was one of my absolute favorite places. It was freeing. You can move about, walk, run, or play. It was usually bustling, lively, and energetic. There you could see diversity, hierarchy, wisdom, and not. The in-between time provides the space, the room to make the best choices for you.
This then reminded me of two quotes that I truly love and have used in times of pause. I am not sure who is credited with the original saying, but here they are:
“The space between the notes makes the music” and “the space between the words tells the story”. I am grateful for the time in the hallway, and once I noticed less resistance to the time, you guessed it. Entering a new room has been a lot less fearful and quite exciting.
If you are in-between, I invite you to embrace it as the perfect space you need for your music or story!